{"id":421,"date":"2011-08-02T20:16:35","date_gmt":"2011-08-02T20:16:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/positivelifechanges.ca\/blog\/?p=421"},"modified":"2015-03-23T18:26:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-23T18:26:00","slug":"depression-when-the-coin-has-stopped-spinning-and-what-to-do-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/goddessrevealed.ca\/tapro\/depression-when-the-coin-has-stopped-spinning-and-what-to-do-about-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Depression\u2026 are you struggling to experience the bright side of life?"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you have ever struggled with depression you can probably relate to feeling stuck and\/or overwhelmed. When I am counselling clients for depression, most often in our sessions we address a combination of four\u00a0\u00a0mind states:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Grief and loss:
    \n– trying to come to terms with change and grieving what once was or could have been<\/li>\n
  2. Low self-esteem:
    \n– being caught up in not feeling good enough
    \n– \u00a0self-blame \/ inability to love and accept yourself where you\u2019re at<\/li>\n
  3. Lack of hope:
    \n– an inability to formulate or connect with a new inspiring vision for the future
    \n– feeling overwhelmed trying to imagine the energy needed to surface from the layers
    \nof depression<\/li>\n
  4. Feeling shut down to cope with anxiety and overwhelm<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As I was sitting down the other day to write a condolence card for a dear friend who has lost her partner of 40 years, I pondered the cycle of life. The term cycle reminded me of movement.<\/p>\n

    I thought about the delight and happiness we experience when a child is born. Usually there is lots of excitement connected to witnessing every new step of development and growth.<\/p>\n

    Watching someone we love grow old and slowly lose more and more of their vitality tends not to be a joyful process. Having to say good bye to a loved one is painful.<\/p>\n

    \u00a0Joy and happiness, grief and loss these are two sides of a coin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \"Help<\/a>Only seeing one side of the coin means the coin has stopped spinning. When you stop moving thru emotions, \u00a0you can get stuck in between \u201cspin cycles.\u201d<\/p>\n

    We live in a society where we tend to focus on the \u201cbright side of life.\u201d Little time is afforded to not feeling good. Great efforts are made and products are offered to make you feel better quickly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I believe that in this process we have lost our ability to\u00a0\u00a0dig deep and connect with our inner strength.<\/p>\n

    We have internalized a message that we need external means to help us move thru \u201cnegative\u201d emotions as quickly as possible. If we don\u2019t get over our grief and loss there is something wrong with us. Our environment is uncomfortable witnessing despair for extended periods of time.<\/p>\n

    As a collective we have lost touch with our place of trust and hope and acceptance. Acceptance of the cyclical nature of life.<\/p>\n

    There is a difference between acceptance and resignation.<\/strong> There is a difference between supporting and holding space for someone who is grieving and seeing their grief and trying to hurry them along to\u00a0be happy again. In order to appreciate and be able to see the bright side of life, we have to be willing to dwell in the darkness.<\/p>\n

    When you suppress how you really feel and put on a bright face for the world to see, when you abandon yourself by neglecting to get your needs met at the benefit of making sure the needs of others are met, you pay a price.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    This price can come in the form of depression, which is really a place of shutting down.<\/p>\n

    \u00a0\"Burnaby<\/strong>Sometimes, you need a helping hand to dig deep when you\u2019re depressed, sad and unhappy.
    \nYou need someone who is willing to keep you company in the dark places.<\/p>\n

    When you open the door to a dark room, some light enters. With the light, comes an awareness of other things that have gotten lost in the darkness and thus temporarily invisible.<\/p>\n

    When you\u2019re depressed it\u2019s only too easy to move from low self-esteem and despair to a place of shame.<\/strong> Sharing how you really feel and being seen and heard can be a very vulnerable place.<\/p>\n

    Finding the courage to allow yourself to be seen however is also an empowering place and the first step towards getting the coin to spin again.<\/p>\n

    If you\u2019re struggling with depression, I invite you to give yourself permission to love and accept yourself exactly where you’re at.<\/p>\n

    Dig deep within yourself to connect\u00a0to your place of faith;\u00a0trust that this too shall pass.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    Carefully select someone who you can trust \u00a0to help you stay in touch with your own courage and hope. Choose someone you can trust to see and hear you without having to fix and change you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/strong>This is what you don\u2019t want to have happen:<\/p>\n